Happy Halloween

Upon my arrival to our tiny office today, I promptly informed Boss Lady, "The Cock has arrived."  Please, get your mind out of the gutter, my mind is there enough for us all.  I was a peacock for Halloween.  I spent so much time making my costume.  Of course, I found the idea on Pinterest.  I made a giant tutu, made fake feathers out of fabrics and felt, and had blue, green, and purple makeup all over my face.  Meanwhile, Boss Lady dressed as the Prancercise lady, Joanna Rohrback.  If you have not seen the viral video, GO NOW.  We knew going into Halloween that not everyone has heard of Prancercise, so we had a laptop ready to go with the video.  Boss Lady did an amazing job, though, thank our lucky stars, she did not rock a camel toe.  That would have been a damaging vision.  Chaos gets an A+ for effort.  She isn't quite into Halloween the way I am but she tried and was a panda.  While at the tiny office, she did panda eye makeup and made ears for her headband.  Since last years Hunger Games themed dress up day was ruined by a nasty virus plaguing Bruiser the Ladies Man, I was happy that we had a good amount of participation this year.
In preparation for my costume, I finally went and listened to Katy Perry's Peacock song.  I really don't think it is about a Peacock at all.  Surprise surprise, and I know I am not the first person to have that thought.  The day ended up with cocking right and left.  I may never live it down and I am okay with that. 


Amazon has everything.  Boss Lady informed me that her parents got her and her husband a gift certificate to Amazon for their wedding anniversary.  It was suggested that they get something for their new house.  What does Boss Lady want to get?  A hose storage thing-a-ma-bob for their backyard.  Boring.  I suggested, given it is their wedding anniversary (eye brows raised), they should get something for them for their new house.  Boss Lady caught my drift, but remained just looking at me.  For the record, her look was an egging on sort of look.  My great idea, a sex swing.  She did not think Amazon would have it so I proved her wrong.
First, they are cheaper than I imagined they would be.  But perhaps the slogan "you get what you pay for" is applicable.
Second, I would 100% get injured using that thing.  I slip and fall in bathtub showers, constantly run into my bed frame, and slip, trip, and stumble on everything.
Third, searching "Sex Swing" on Amazon is not for prudes.  I know, I might have offended someone talking about them.  Like I have said, it's all in good fun.  Not only do you find sex swings, you find other interesting and kinky sex related items.  (Don't worry, you will get a Fifty Shades of Grey post out of me sooner than later.)  If you are curious, go do it on your own.  I try to be mature looking at the stuff, but I can't help but laugh.

 Happy Halloween!

(Yes, this is my pumpkin.  I didn't have a candle.  I got creative and rubber banded a whole box of birthday candles together.  I'd say it turned out amazingly awesome.)